Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
