so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
