she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
