Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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