So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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