so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
