One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
