I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
