There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
