You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
did i just pee glitter
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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