Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
