high people should be assigned attendants
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
