I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Randomize
