you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
