when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Operation Purity has been aborted
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
