I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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