it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Randomize
