What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
