no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
