At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I miss vodka workout Fridays
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
