I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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