are you so shy because you have an std?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Randomize
