I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
