Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
