Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
