yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
he just fucked me for my cheese..
i am craving dick and cupcakes
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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