i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
