Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
