your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
