I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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