Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
