okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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