At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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