That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Randomize
