Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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