Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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