you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Randomize
