I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
