Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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