so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
