actually, I'm a sock model
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize
