Just cropdusted the office
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
this boner is exhausting
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
