If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
