im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I had to cum in my sink.
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