They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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