i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
