Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
did i walk over a car last night?
There r osticjed everywhere
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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