the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
