hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
