So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
