Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
